mommy and me ballet.

(sorry for the poor quality of these photos. I need to get our camera out and take a few)

we started a mommy and me ballet class a few weeks ago. Norah loves it and asks to go to dance class randomly during the week. I have always said I wouldn't force it on her, but I will admit, the dancer in me is pretty excited she likes it. honestly, I don't think she'll stick with it forever. and halfway through the class last week, she came up to me with a little whine in her voice asking, "play hockey now?" yeah. Chad was very happy about that one. she's still asking to go to class so we're not quite done yet!

though I really should find some kind of track and field for two year olds because she would own that. I quickly found out that Norah is the two year old who - while everyone else is taking instruction in a circle - is running crazy around outside the circle and checking herself out in the mirror. when she is supposed to tiptoe a teddy bear to me and back to her teacher, she somehow gets away with leaving the bear with me and going back for another. yes, we were hoarding the bears. she is quite the character there, but I'm enjoying seeing her personality shine, as overwhelming as all of her energy can be for me sometimes. 

love..

happy Mardi Gras.

I just have to gush about this photo for a second. because that face while she's playing with her 'dada' makes for one joy filled mama.

also, have to mention how weird it is that yesterday felt like Monday because of Mardi Gras. things I never knew I'd get used to. it's bigger than Christmas here and even though we don't participate that much it's still just in the air. but it worked to our advantage because we had Chad home for a week.

I can't ignore the fact that his job seems glamorous. it can be. that quickly fades. it is not family friendly. a majority of the people he works with are single; there's not much room for other things after work. the hours are kind of outrageous and he's usually exhausted. some shows we just push through in survival mode. but when he has a few weeks off in between, I am so grateful. he gets to be part of our day to day. regular jobs would only allow him weekends and holidays and I love that we get to have some extra time with him once and a while. kind of makes up for the long working days when Norah might not see him at all. it's obviously not ideal for toddlers that thrive on consistency but I'm thankful for what we have. now I'm going to just stare at this photo some more.

love..

a gentle answer.

a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.. the soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:1&4

I've never seen anything confirm these scriptures like parenthood. I know she needs to hear the word no sometimes, but when it's out of my own fear or anger, 'no' is never helpful.

she seeks nurture. it breaks my heart to know so many babies are deprived of that.

I'm convinced you learn the most in your life when you're raising a toddler. I'm sure I'll continue to say that through each stage, but for now.. toddler.

this bird is so brave and this year is going to be quite an adventure, I'm sure.

hello 2016.

love.

it's a jolly holiday with Norah.

I didn't think I'd be in to Halloween. I'm not, really. honestly I really don't look forward to the days we come home with a bunch of candy - when Norah actually knows what it is - and wants to eat it. but as we navigate through parenthood, we're just trying to live and learn and love and have fun doing so. and a couple nights of dressing this girl up was f u n. it was also nice for me to be able to get creative and throw our costumes together. 

my one costume mistake.. Mary Poppins would never need glasses.

we went to Boo at the Zoo a couple weeks ago with some friends and she had the best time in the toddler area there. this little live band playing cute music was the highlight for her. best dancing penguin there ever was. and my mama's girl didn't hesitate for one second to be front and center (and then ON the stage!) to hear that music and dance her heart out. I love to watch her grow and bloom.

here's a short clip. she was slowing down at this point, but you can get a small glimpse of her dancing.

Halloween was last night for us here. they (I'm not sure who they are) changed the day because it's supposed to rain a lot here tonight. I didn't know you could just change it but they did. so I put Norah's costume on her and she helped me pass out candy, clapping for herself every time she put a piece in someone's bag. it was very cute. 

hope you're all having a nice weekend!

love..

norahisms.

she carried her laundry basket from her room all the way into the kitchen and wanted to get in. we've never done that before. she's hilarious. 

I've seen people share some cute things their kids have said, so I thought it would be fun to share some of Norah's latest adventures in using her words. she's not asking all of those funny questions yet, but certain things do make us laugh coming from such a little person. aside from her mumbling baby talk, which is equally hilarious. and of course, "no no" is a favorite. oy. 

she started actually saying all done while she signs it the other day. she's known the sign for a long time but now she will actually say it. mostly if I have the blender or my clairsonic out, haha. we're a little sensitive..

she has the longest list of words. I couldn't tell you how many, but I'd really like to take a few moments to jot them all down sometime. I told Chad the other day that I wish there was a camera on her constantly because there are so many cute things she'll say or do. he agreed, but then said, "at least we get to experience them." wise man.

here are just a few fun things Norah is saying..

she's always asking where something went, but it sounds like, "where dog go?"  we can usually figure out what she's talking about most of the time.

but now she will ask, "where mama?" or "where dada?" so that's cute.

"yes." (clear as day and in the right context. which for some reason has been blowing my mind.)

"sih wap?" when she wants to sit on your lap. 

"gah yit!" (got it.. one million times until we realize what she is trying to do)

and her favorite this week is this guy. 

"way da beeuh?" (where's the bear?) he's usually right under her nose.

love..

she knows no temperature, only adventure. while we stand and watch in amazement and melt.

been thinking about being a parent and judging things and how much more I judge than I think I do. we all do. but lately I've been remembering before parenthood and how much I judged parents and how sometimes now we can see others judging us. having to explain the way we do things and comparing ourselves to other parents ways of doing things. if I could go back and change something about my younger self, it would be that. who am I to even think those things? to not even try to understand their life or think if they would just do 'this'..

because everyone is different, every kid is different, every situation is different. you absolutely do not know what it is like to be in their place. to walk their steps. a situation might look terrible-or amazing-on the outside, but that's all we see. the thing we do share is that we have the same Father who is the ultimate judge and giver of life and grace and peace. And he calls us to love.

so be kind. extend grace. please don't judge such a vulnerable and precious thing we are all just trying to figure out. let's be a team.

love..

bump day.

heard it was bump day today. I don't even know what that is and I didn't look it up, but I kept seeing women post photos of themselves pregnant. thinking back to that time gives me all sorts of feels, obviously. (side note: how did that trend start? the saying "feels" trend. can't decide if I like it or hate it. am I even cool enough to say "feels"? anyway.) I had this random memory of Norah moving around in my belly and it feeling so intense and crazy in there as we got closer to her birth and as she was running out of space. then I remembered even earlier, at our first ultrasound, when her arms and legs were already moving all over so quickly.

and I kind of laughed at myself for always being surprised at how she never stops moving now. clearly she's been that way since the beginning of her time. a busy bird. God is going to show this laid back mama so much through this active girl, I can feel it. I think I'll go put on my running shoes. 

I don't have any of those. what is running? (; I'm tired.

love..

norah on set.

last week we were staying in a small town a couple of hours away. Chad has been working out of town some for this show, so Norah and I went to stay with him. it's hard to resist a free hotel stay. though we usually screw up any kind of schedule we've finally made in the process, so it's give and take. always worth it for us to all be together though! she's only one once!

one of those days we went to see him on set. I wish I had taken this photo from a slightly different angle so you could see their twinning eyes while squinting in the sun. she's a Taylor, no doubts about it. but Norah got to see a certain big shot actor doing his acting thing (I was really more excited about that than her, obviously), and an even bigger big shot (daddy) doing his thing. it was fun. and hot. I don't know how they stand outside all day in this heat. so we went to the camera truck and this is her claiming it as her own.

it was a nice day and made me forget about getting pulled over for the first time ever earlier in the day. ): I wasn't speeding, or doing anything wrong for that matter, I just didn't have a break tag stuck to my windshield. the rules for owning a car here are so silly. ah well. 

I have a hard time with Chad's job hours a lot of the time, but this day was a good reminder that it will be fun to take her to visit him as she grows. a neat experience for her.

hope you're all having a great Thursday! it is Thursday right? I never know anymore. (;

love..

thanks, wednesday.

the last couple of days have been interesting. I declared we were on the struggle bus yesterday and it was only Tuesday. Chad is out of town for work. how will we ever make it to the weekend? I had even sent out a couple of 'please pray for me and my child that has the hardest time napping' texts. there are many reasons why I felt so worn and discouraged, but I won't list them all. I will say I put on a different pair of sweatpants than I had been wearing and felt like a new person. sad, ha.

I'm still learning on this mom journey, and I know that is completely okay. I will be learning for the rest of my life. but one thing I continuously forget is to ask for prayer. or to even pray for myself sometimes because I think I should be able to handle whatever I'm struggling with, so I just need to toughen up. so I'm here today to say the obligatory, "prayer works, people". I know I'm tough. I just forget. 

this morning, Norah greeted me with a kiss. I had barely said the words, "good morning" when she leaned in with a big wet kiss. I've been given countless kisses from her all day. all unprompted. I can't say the napping went any better really. we were out running errands and she always naps great in the car, so that doesn't count as better. but her demeanor was so much sweeter all day and I went from, 'I don't know if I can do this toddler thing' to 'I love this life'. thanks, Wednesday. 

this journey is made up of so many different seasons. and I dont usually catch a new one until it's over. but I'm grateful for all of them because in each one I learn and grow and even the hard ones make me that much stronger and better of a mama. and I'm grateful for praying friends and family and wet Norah kisses and sweet little hugs around my neck. I know it's only Wednesday and I don't know what the next few days will bring, but today was a much needed breath of fresh air. have a good night. (:

love..

eleven months, an anniversary, and she's almost one.

our girl hit eleven months in April and once again, I didn't blog about it. but she's a busy bee and I just haven't had a chance to sit down and write.

eleven months.

we just got back from a celebratory trip to Idaho, visiting old friends. April 30th marked five years of marriage for us, and Norah turns one tomorrow. so we planned our first vacation without any other family since our honeymoon. so very adult of us. we spent some quality time with lots of old friends, chased our little bird around, cut a nasty tooth, climbed and drove through mountains. beautiful, beautiful mountains. I nursed Norah on Picture Rock and later that day I looked at her and said, "Norah, I fed you on a mountain! I love my life!" it was so refreshing and the days seemed to fly. please excuse these grainy, ultra-filtered iphone photos.

photos c/o christy.

and today was so long. haha. but at the same time, I'm not wishing it away because that just means tomorrow will be here and I'm. not. ready. I can't believe Norah will be one whole year already! she is the sweetest and we love her so much. here's to a week of celebrating her and us and wrapping our brains around the fact that we made it. (; more tomorrow.

love..

nine and ten months and more kind strangers.

nine.

ten.

I have missed months nine and ten by a long shot. so as eleven nears, I thought I'd throw a few photos out there and tell you this girl is crawling all over the house, standing once in a while on her own until she realizes she's not holding on to anything, and saying words I didn't think I'd hear until well after she turns one. she's real busy.

today I went grocery shopping. I made trips to two stores to get the best foods for this bird. because it's never as easy as getting everything you need at one place. I wasn't upset about that, but as everyone knows, it's not ever a quick trip to grocery shop with kids. but I had no other agenda so I just tried to take my time and not stress as she started to get a little fussy at our first stop (she fell asleep before the next one so all was well). when I got the the register at my last stop, I realized I forgot my wallet in the car, so I had to run out and get it. the cashier was great, and it wasn't an issue, but hello, Norah was napping and I was losing my hands free window. (; anyway, I was loading everything into that car and someone parking next to me said, "it's hard work grocery shopping with a baby!" you're so right sir. thank you for noticing.

he didn't stop there though. he kept talking as he got out of his car, and I thought he was either going to be a little bit weird or he was trying to encourage me. and then I saw his shirt. it said something about prayer 24/7. I've encountered people like this. some are genuine. others feel like they're supposed to say something profound, reciting a script and I walk away a little annoyed (just being honest here, sorry). he and his wife have five kids and he said she likes to grocery shop alone. he said a couple of things I hear often, like we need more full time moms because it's good for the kids and it's the hardest and least paid job there is. and he said he notices how hard it is for her and how much she works and, "so I just commend you", as he walked away. 

I could have walked away annoyed, assuming he was reciting a script. but today it gave me the fuel I needed to get home and get all of the groceries in and shove some lunch in my mouth as I wrangle my super curious and brave babe. and get through the long day. and blog. blog? what is that? I know this was God encouraging me through another stranger. they're not all bad. (;

it was just a good reminder to notice. notice the mom with the baby in an ergo, pushing her cart with one hand. I now know how hard that is. and notice the brand new mom with a sad baby in a corner probably just wanting out of the house for a minute but sort of regretting it. I now know how hard that is. notice the moms. notice the dads. notice the people. little things we might not acknowledge, but should. and then we should commend them because we know. and we get it. and sometimes they need to know someone else gets it. 

I know this stuff has been said online a lot lately. this isn't some new revelation and there is a great movement of women I see online trying to make sure moms know what they do is hard and worth it and so important, no matter what it looks like. and I know sometimes even people without kids have hard days and barely make it to the store. this has all been said before. I was just encouraged and hoping this will meet the right pair of eyes tonight.

I notice. and I commend you.

love..

eight months.

this is a little glimpse of Norah right now.

she's got five teeth and one working its way through. though it's probably more like ten that I just don't know about, because she's apparently going for the gold medal in teething. | she hasn't been interested in food, really (I'll take any encouragement in that area). we did try carrots the last two days though, and she's kind of into it. carrots win! actually, breast milk always wins, but that's okay with me! | somewhere around nineteen pounds. | she's been sitting up like a pro for a couple of months now, which made her start to protest tummy-time because, who wants to do that when you can sit up, I guess? | scooting backwards (and spinning in circles) when she does decide tummy-time is okay. I think she'd run, if she could. | she started saying, 'ooh' right before we left for Michigan.. cutest thing. I wish you could all hear it. | she's also babbling and teaching herself to scream a lot and says, 'mama' when she wants to be picked up (oh, my heart). | she just started mimicking a cough or laugh and we'll go back and forth for a minute. she thinks that's pretty funny. | already knows what to do when I say, 'hi-five!' and hold up my hand. she's fun. | still likes napping on me the best. | she has lots of blonde, fuzzy hair coming in and looks a bit like Jack Nicholson (see here) in the bath or after a good, long nap in her car seat. | I think her favorite toy right now is paper or cardboard, which is unfortunate for her books, but made for a fun Christmas. | she's really fond, and probably most content, when we read or sing to her. the ABC song is her jam.

one of the sweetest things.. since we've been back from Michigan, when Chad gets home she lets out a little shout. I think she loved having extra time with him while he was off for Christmas and now gets so excited to see him when he gets home from work.

love..

merry christmas and happy new year.

from us and our joy baby in Michigan!

I never really prayed that for her like I wanted to before she was born. but I've recently been praying that strength and dignity would be her clothing and that kindness would be on her lips. that she would laugh at the days to come. (proverbs 31, I'm sure you know it well)

and she is just that. so much joy. so I am thankful for the joy I don't even ask for and continue to pray over this beautiful girl. I also pray this holiday season is a special one for each of you. love you all!

here's to another great year.

beautiful cards : artifact uprising | beautiful photo : Trevor Mark Photography

love..

looking forward.

what an interesting week. let's move on, shall we? at least I have something nice too look at. (: in the next couple of days, we'll be on our way to Michigan to spend lots of time with family. I think I'm most excited that Chad has two weeks off. here's to a great two weeks.

if you think of it, would you be so kind to say a prayer for our travels? we're driving, so this will be the longest trip she's made in the car. Tennessee wasn't so bad, so we're hopeful.

love..

seven months.

a couple of weeks late, but I want to write to remember this age. and all ages.

I love that I am her safety.

when she's upset and I pick her up, or if she's around other people, she pushes her legs against my stomach and grabs my shoulders, pulling herself up as close as she can in the crook of my neck (usually biting my shoulder (; ). and I keep thinking about the moment we connected on the outside. as I pulled her up on my chest for the first time. and it was like she couldn't get close enough. brand new in this world and instantly I was her safety. instead of scooting down to nurse like I heard babies might do, she just kept getting closer and closer to my neck only to rest there, after what I can imagine was probably a little traumatic. I love this girl. I would do that day all over again for her. just for that moment. but I love that for now, even still, she finds comfort in that spot. in me. that I am mama and I am safe.

love..

teeth. not tooth.

photos c/o Trevor Mark Photography. celebrating six months of Norah. you can visit his site to see more!

that guy's smile, am I right? I'm a lucky gal.

pray for our sweet babe. what I thought was her first tooth, was actually four teeth. she's a trooper and still such a joy, but I feel so bad when I can tell she's feeling it. I guess it's nice to get it over with faster? yeah, I'll just look at it like that and keep cuddling her up for as long as she needs.

love..

six months.

yesterday marked six months of Norah's life. I willingly left her in her crib all night for the first time. She was probably ready a while ago, but if I'm being completely honest, it made me too anxious and she slept fine in our room and what's the point of rushing that. Now I'm less anxious and I just felt like we were ready (and also, she's getting too long for her rock-and-play). 

I've been a mom for six months! and doing so over one thousand miles from family. I just felt like I needed a part or something. so I took her shopping for a new teether. I know she doesn't know any different, but I think half a year is worth celebrating. I also bought myself some dark chocolate, so there's my party I guess. I know. I'm so fancy.

truth is, though, that every mom with a child at any age is worth celebrating. I'm not special because we don't have family close. but please, I beg of you, don't take that for granted, people. facetime is incredible, but real facetime, you can't compare.

I just really felt like I should soak up the day yesterday; this week even. all of the moments.

I'll be honest again and say it's not easy and it's lonely and maybe those aren't the moments I think I want to soak up sometimes. but I'll be glad I did and I'm so  grateful to have this little beauty to do life with us and that I'm the one she'll call mama. that alone is really so special and worth celebrating everyday.

she really is one of the happiest babies and that makes me feel like I'm doing at least some things right.

love..

five months.

in the last couple of months, we've all been on a work trip to San Francisco (had her first belly laugh on that mountain you see below and Chad's dad just happened to be taking our photo. the wind just struck her funny. dreamiest moment.), a family visit in Michigan, and a quick trip to Nashville. Norah is a great traveler. I do hope that sticks because as long as we live here, we'll have a lot of traveling to do.

our girl is five months old. she's already changed so much from these photos. we haven't been to the doctor since her four month wellness check and we don't own a scale, so I'm guessing she has doubled her birth weight. she was almost there at the last check up anyway. as much as her rolls are taking over, she still has dainty feet. I especially love her hand dimples right now. she thinks everything she sees is supposed to be in her mouth, but still no little tooth sightings. she stared sitting up this week and rolled over for the first time last night! three times in a row. and my darling sleeper started sleeping a little bit less at night. a sign for those teeth coming, I'm sure. she's been a drool bucket since about two months, so we've been wondering when they will come for a while now.

so I'm tired, but she is doing just great. (: she loves 'talking' to us and is showing that towards others now too, only using a cute, quiet voice until she warms up. and her favorite spot to nap is in our arms or our bed. I know, 'that will come back to bite me', or whatever. I'm willing to risk it. she's only this size for today. but she's the sweetest. and teaching me more and more about grace and unconditional love everyday. I have big things to learn from this little one.

oh and our fuzzy little bird is back. her dark newborn hair has gradually fallen out, which made my heart a bit sad seeing her get so big, but she's got this blonde fuzz happening, more and more each day, it seems. just one more thing to add to the list of reasons she looks like her dad. (: I can't wait to see if she's got our curls. but let's be honest, she's surrounded by them. we'll be shocked if it's really straight.

I hope everyone is doing well. I'll try to update more often. I just want to soak up every moment without too many distractions.

love..

four months.

four months of life on the outside today.

here's how it went:

four month wellness check up in the morning. girl is going for gold (fifteen pounds!). we stopped for coffee because.. coffee. and I guess, because neither of us grown ups slept well. she and I went to target while Chad worked in the shed. once we got back home she nursed and fell asleep. she woke from an unusually long nap with the saddest little baby cough and a stuffy little nose. but the happiest of grins. we're sitting on the porch now, while it storms somewhere nearby. she loves the breeze. (which, I meeean, hallelujah for that in late Louisiana summer, am I right??)

my head doesn't like it and my heart finds it sad, but I know there is protection from someone greater.

thank you, Jesus, for healing little bodies and for giving bigger ones just what is needed for the little ones to prosper. 

happy four months, our little Norah Jane. you are the sweetest.

love..

i am blessed.

feeling so heavy as I read of a couple who lost their baby after an early delivery, already knowing her heart wasn't beating. I know, of course, why it hits so close to home, but something about this couple.. their faith and strength is the most beautiful I've seen. I've been following his Instagram account, admiring his photography and the way he loves his wife and has been documenting her pregnancy.

the thing that gets me the most is realizing how unworthy I feel to have such a healthy little girl. they spent the few hours they had with their baby just praying and celebrating her life. I have this beautiful, living baby. one who came into this world the most natural way, just as I hoped. even better than I had hoped. who nurses better than I dreamed. finds comfort in my touch. I had all of these hopes and God has exceeded them more than I ever expected and I'm not even on my face everyday asking for any of it. 

don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for our Norah girl and there are hard things I am going through. but how are we walking in so much favor when many days I don't even pray? and this couple prayed over their baby so much in anticipation, but only had a short time to hold her. I can't imagine not being able to hold the baby I carried inside. I know we just don't understand some things that happen, but things like this.. sometimes I wish we could understand.

so I've just been pondering all of this and praying for that family. and we're obviously still figuring out this new life of ours. trying to navigate all of this overwhelming love we have in our hearts that my mind can't fully comprehend. so much love, it hurts. and I still get emotional, you can call it the baby blues if you want, but it's more than that. your heart is wrecked when you have a baby. it's a spiritual thing as much as, if not more than, it is a physical or emotional thing. (so mommas, don't feel bad about being confused or emotional! just don't be afraid to ask for an ear to listen. (: )

I listened to a podcast today, from a good friend of ours in Idaho, which is rare for me (I can never stay focused listening to podcasts, so I usually just don't do it, to be honest), but I feel like God took me right to it because I needed to know that I am blessed. and that's just it, and that's okay. and because something terribly hard happens to someone else, it doesn't mean I shouldn't be blessed. 

your identity isn't achieved, it's received.

God doesn't say, "Do holiness and I'll call you holy". He says, "You are holy, so do holiness". He is a good dad who begins with blessing. you can't work for it, it's just given to you. no strings attached.

I don't have to manipulate God to bless me. He just does it. He just loves me.
He just loves you.

“What primitive people who thought that they needed to manipulate the gods, or the goddesses, or God to bless them..” c.s. lewis.

the best thing you can give is yourself. the best thing He could give, is Himself. and He did. God likes to bless us.

obviously I want everyone to listen to the podcast because I think it is so great, but I know that won't be the case. maybe though, it is just for one person reading this. so I thought I would share.

listen.

and here is the song he speaks of at the end.

and here is his twitter account. (:

(he didn't ask me to post this and doesn't know I am, but his heart is one we've always admired and it might do your heart well to follow him. who knows. hi, Adam!)

now I am going to snatch up my little bird who is sweetly sighing in her sleep, because I'm all sappy and can't help myself. she needs the extra squeeze today, I just know it. (okay, or it's me. I do. I need it.)

love..