on getting bigger and trying to not compare.

the last two weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind. the really nice thing is that I was able to go to Michigan twice; once unexpectedly for a funeral, but the family time was something I won't take for granted. we will miss grandma Sally, but will continue celebrate her life and the fact that she is no longer suffering.

welp, I jumped into the second trimester and all of the sudden my body decided I could handle this whole pregnancy thing. such a breath of fresh air. I still have queasy moments here and there and obviously life is much different, but I'm feeling better and feel like I can enjoy this time more. I wanted to love being pregnant so bad, so it has been nice the last couple weeks.

anywho. some of you have mentioned that you want to see more photos of the little one making me pack on the pounds. (; I have a hard time willingly posting this kind of thing (you know, photos and such vulnerable info of myself), so thanks for the push. I will try to update more often. here are a few.. twelve weeks, somewhere in between fourteen and fifteen weeks, and then sixteen weeks. little on is growing.

one thing I have been learning about is that all of the sudden comparison sneaks in again. it's something I feel most women deal with in all seasons of life. but once you seem to grasp that you're who you are for a reason and comparing yourself is a big waste of the peace you could be experiencing, you start something new and wonder if what you're doing is right. does that make sense at all? I'll have thoughts that are obviously not productive and then wonder why all of the sudden I care so much. things like, 'she is farther along than I am and I'm way bigger than her already' or 'she is so much more prepared than I am'. getting used to having this belly is interesting and finding clothes I feel good in is a grand task. don't get me wrong, I love it so much and I wouldn't wish it away for anything. and obviously every woman is different and will carry differently, but I think identity can be a struggle no matter where you are in life and comparing myself to other mommies-to-be (which there seem to be a ton of right now, congratulations ladies!) is something to be watching out for.

and then God is like, 'okay, but look down.' and I see my belly for real. and I remember the greatness of what is happening inside of me. that there is a HUMAN in there. a real life baby. and for as long as I'm living on this earth, it is my real life baby and even once it is no longer inside of me I get to keep it.  and it gets to have Chad as a daddy. beautiful.

so the handy little phone app says the babe is about the size of an avocado this week and can start hearing my voice, among many other miraculous things, which has been so crazy for me to think about. I guess that means we need to start being more vocal. but how neat is it that our voices will be recognizable and soothing once he or she is here? that's pretty neat in my book.

love..

little one.

happy Friday, everyone.

I read this week that the little one is about the size of a pea pod (other things have said a peach) and I couldn't get over how incredible and cute that sounded. to think that there is this baby with all of it's vital organs and hair and finger nails, but only a few inches in length, just hanging out in my stomach is unbelievable. so neat.

I'm turning turning the corner in to the second trimester and as many of you have experienced, you know this is an exciting and much better feeling time. (: I'm still figuring out what it takes to make me feel better, but so far it's just to eat. and eat and eat. that's probably been the hardest adjustment because we're just not big eaters and I feel like I have to eat all day long, ha. I'm a little bit tired of food (okay, a lot tired of food), but have to keep it up every couple hours or it's bad news for Ali. so that's life for the last six or so weeks. also, this crazy sensitive nose here. the grocery store is tough. so many smells! but this week has been much better and I can tell things are looking up.

have a great weekend. I'm off to meet Chad for "lunch", because his lunch today is when you should be eating dinner and he'll be working until crazy hours of the night. this job is weird, I tell you. (;

love..

a thank you.

oh my gracious, you guys are so lovely.

we have some of the nicest friends and family, thank you so much for all of the love. I can't believe we are having a baby! except I can because I've basically been in a constant state if icky feeling (morning sickness all day is for the birds. or.. can it be, please?). I'm starting to feel a bit better every day( oh please and thank you, Jesus) so the best is yet to come!

there are times every day that I stop and think, is this real life? we had our first ultrasound last week and it was probably the best thing ever. seeing the tiny little arms and legs moving all crazy-like.. the sweetest moment.

I'm pretty sure the desire to be a mom started to creep in when I was so small, only just big enough to hold a baby, but once it happened I was committed. ( ; it's one of the few things I can remember always dreaming of. so now that it is here, life is so surreal. and also, wonderful.

Chad's parents drove all the way down here for a quick visit last weekend and it sort of felt like Christmas. I'm not kidding, I think I looked out the window every hour  on Friday afternoon just hoping they had pulled up. something about being pregnant and having family close.. nothing like it.

they brought a couple drawings from our nieces and I really just can't get over how sweet the one Sophia drew all on her own was. I was going to post a photo of Chad and I to announce the big news, but that drawing was too perfect. no one told her what to draw, can you believe it?! I just love those girls so much.

anyway, thank you so much for all of the love and we love you right back. hope you're having a great week!

love..

in case you haven't heard..

..and we're so happy.